for the record, wordpress has been very strange lately. for one, even though it says the proper date in my drafts, once i publish a post they all say “november 13” – have you noticed? spooky.

…i was just going to also mention that my dashboard tells me that i wrote my last post yesterday….but that’s right, actually. i did.

i think my bloodstream is currently half coffee, one quarter red bull, and one quarter soda. today, i’ve eaten a blueberry muffin, a snack pack of those mini ritz crackers, and a slice of cheap spinach pizza. my portfolio for my non-fiction class was due an hour ago – i’m going to hand it in late and pray! he doesn’t fail me! (because that is such a possibility, given that on the board he wrote, MUST BE HANDED IN DURING CLASS. DON’T COME TO CLASS WITHOUT IT. DON’T NOT COME TO CLASS.)

well, i’m facing a bit of a nightmare. i wrote most of it at home, but downtown (where school and working printers are – yes, technology is a cobbled-together affair in beetown) doesn’t seem to have a single computer that can recognize the program i wrote it on. i have one last chance, and then i think i might dissolve into some sort of hysterical fit.

i worked yesterday for 12 hours. i went to bed at 2 in the morning, and although i GOT UP at 7 am, i had been pressing the snooze button for 2 and a half hours at that point. my eyes are burning. at some point yesterday i felt ALIVE by the work i was doing, but now i just feel very very intense. like my eyes are going to fizzle and pop out of my head. i don’t even want to think about the two papers or the other portfolio i have to get ready for the day after tomorrow.
i worked from 7-11:20, went to class until 2, and here i am again. pounding away.

why the hell do i work so well under EXTREME deadlines when it is obviously so very wrong for me? what the hell is a green vegetable again? co-oo-king? fresh air? yoga? my dog, for pete’s sake? which dimension am i in? what day is this?

i got to go. i gotta drink me some more black coffee, stimulate my heart with a few drags off a camel, and gets me back to some writing. just please don’t hold this post against me when i’m sane again.

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